Titles For Monica Lewinsky's Future Book
-I Wore What You Did Last Summer

-I Suck At My Job

-What Really Goes Down In The White House

-How I Blew It In Washington

-You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President

-Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule

-Going Back for Gore

-Podium Girl

-Secret Services to the President

-Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton

-Deep Inside The Oval Office

-The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions

-She's Chief of MY Staff!

-Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes

-How To Beat Off the Government

-Going Down and Moving Up

-Members of the Presidential Cabinet

-Me and My Big Mouth



Top Ten New Features Of Camp Delta

10. Interrogation rooms with ocean views
9. Still has that "new detention camp" smell
8. Prisoners allowed one threatening phone call a week
7. The loosest slots on Guatanamo Bay
6. Free "Camp Delta" tote bag with every confession
5. Extremist kids eat free
4. Nightly turndown service includes a goat on your pillow
3. Burqa raids on girls' camp across the lake
2. Midnight performances by Engelbert Humperdink
1. Craftmatic adjustable torture racks

Three Buttons
Saddam Hussein and President Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When President Bush sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.
Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge.
They begin talking and G.W. presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.
"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"
President Bush says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"

If you have any quotes, jokes, or anecdotes, email me!
republicancaucus@hotmail.com

Link to a funny Political Site
My Links